Beach Bowling Dream VR Steam Pile Review
The Dreams in Which I’m Bowling Are The Worst I’ve Ever Had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When balls roll on beaches it’s a very very
bad game bad game
I don’t know about you, dear readers, but I’m not the kind of person into bowling with balls that defy physics on a lane that appears to be tilted uphill. Maybe you love that, and that is okay, then by all means spend $4 on this, but that isn’t me.
As everything in this ‘game’ is beach and pirate themed, you’ll be tossing cannonballs instead of bowling balls. Because, of course you are. The balls appear smaller in hand than an actual bowling ball and do not react to any attempts to put a spin on them when tossing them down the lane. Also, the pins are rum bottles, cause ‘lulz pirates’ I guess.
As far as options go, there are barely any. The pins don’t automatically reset, instead, you have to press a floating reset button. There is also the ability to turn on/off a music track that includes squawking seagulls, none of which are shown in the game. What you will see, however, is a pirate ship, some lackluster palm trees, and a simplistic ocean surrounding the small island you’re on.
There are a couple of ‘secrets’ to find if you can call getting bored of bowling and tossing bowling balls at nearby objects. The secrets? A “pro mode” that only gives you two balls before forcing you to reset the pins, and making the lane float on water.
I love bowling, but surely there has to be something better than this by now on Steam for VR, right? I mean, even bowling in Wii Sports was better than this and that game came out ten friggin’ years ago and can be had for pennies now. Hell, there isn’t even a scoring system here.
It’s your money, but I would encourage you to not buy this.