Drunken Fight Simulator Early Access Review
Drunk and disorderly
Remember QWOP? If you do, you might share my recollections of it as the game everyone always played in school, whenever you were supposed to be learning computer science instead. It was a flash browser game, in which you controlled an athlete’s various leg muscles using the four titular keys, and slapstick hilarity would ensue as the poor guy would tumble all over the place.
Drunken Fight Simulator, which very much relies on that same gimmick, not only reminded me of QWOP, but it also revealed to me that this kind of lowest common denominator humour has lost all of its appeal, especially with the oversaturation of “physics games” on Steam.
To be honest, all you need to do is take a passing look at the screenshots or videos to understand everything that Drunken Fight Simulator represents. You play as a drunk guy, and you beat each other up using the intentionally awkward controls. The concept is pretty stupid and simple, but even in the execution of this, Drunken Fight Simulator fails to offer any visible reason to invest yourself into its threadbare gameplay.
Fighting either an AI opponent or another player is barely playable thanks to the focus on ragdoll effects, while the bland environments in which the fights take place are drab and unsightly. What’s more, the game doesn’t even feature sound, of any kind, other than the random punch noise every now and again.
I don’t like stating that you should never buy a game in general, because who knows? Maybe, over time (probably a long time), Drunken Fight Simulator will turn into a hard-hitting satirical take on alcoholism and hooligan culture, buffeted by a meaty combat system and a strong sense of identity. But Drunken Fight Simulator is not that game; it is just a lazily thrown together drunken fight simulator.
If something like this still appeals to you, I promise you that Double Fine’s Gang Beasts is far more worth your time, effort and money for delivering such an experience. Drunken Fight Simulator is about as good of a time as, well, a drunken fight.
Worth Your Money: Probably Never