High Profits Steam Pile Review

by | Jan 15, 2017

Bad Trip

“Boy…cannabis culture sure is funny ain’t it?”

This is High Profits boiled down to its cynical essence; a game which, despite the mildly welcoming art style (which can only be described as “comic sans”), represents nothing more than a vacuous fascimile of everything that’s wrong with free to play games today.

An incremental clicker game which owes its entire existence to imitating the formula of Adventure Capitalist (at least that title had some sense of creativity), High Profits is more than happy to leave players aimlessly buying new plants and upgrades to increase their rate of income and buy more plants and upgrades to increase their rate of income and buy even more plants and upgrades increase their rate of income and buy…

I’m pretty sure Karl Marx once warned us about the vicous cycle of capitalism in that manifesto of his (I forget the name). Instead of the inevitable breakdown of the global capitalist superstructure which he predicted, however, High Profits will instead leave you with nothing but regret for wasting your time.

 

High Profits
Steam Page
Developer:
Double Coconut
Publisher:
Double Coconut
Release:
January 13, 2017
Price:
Free to Play
Rig:
Intel i3-3110M @ 2.40GHz
4GB RAM

 

All the usual free-to-play cash-grab tactics are here; the false sense of progression to hook you into an endless loop of addiction, the intentional efforts to slow down and waste your time, followed by the manipulative baiting of pay-to-win mechanics, all for a small fee, of course. These mercenary strategies are usually a practice isolated to the even more crowded market of the mobile gaming scene, but High Profits isn’t ashamed to put them to full effect here, and it is not a good look.

But at least the stoner humor is funny, right? Well, I’ve never been a fan of that genre of comedy anyway, but even die-hard Pineapple Express enthusiasts will find little reason to laugh at the jokes on display in High Profits.  

The name gives it away, but the humor extends to stupid puns and that’s about it. “Game of Stoned”, “Bud Ross”, “Jamaica Me Crazy”…you get the idea. There’s nothing inherently wrong with them; it’s just another reflection of the shallow quality of the entire experience. 

The irony is that investing in High Profits micro-transactions doesn’t even improve the quality of the game, as all it does is expedite your progress to the end game content, and by ‘content’ I mean a Game of Thrones parody reskin.

All you do is make virtual money by clicking on the same buttons over and over again; it’s the video game manifestation of Vaas’ definition of insanity.

Even as a game that you can have installed on your PC in a matter of seconds for free, I cannot recommend High Profits as a worthwhile experience in any feasible regard. There are many more fulfilling ways to spend your time.

But, I mean, at least the music is alright?

“Nothing more than a vacuous facsimile of everything that’s wrong with free-to-play games today.”

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