Horror Hospital Steam Pile Review
Running a shoddy hotel has never been this adorable
I’ll cut right to the chase. Horror Hospital is nothing more than pure poison for the soul; so much so, that I can barely muster the grace to even award it any more of my time by writing about it.
As another uninspired Slenderman clone (because we definitely needed another one of those), Horror Hospital chucks you into a darkened building with a crappy torch and almost nothing meaningful to accomplish other than to find ten photographs and a few other meaningless items.
The unnamed character, who hobbles around with the speed and grace of an intoxicated zombie, acts as an achingly dull host with which to explore the equally boring hospital, and the only form of interaction available is to search the mannequins scattered around the building, which either results in a loathsome jump “scare” or the acquirement of those aforementioned photos.
These obnoxious jump scares repeatedly occur with careless abandon, and their ability to knock your character onto the floor and continually hold up the gameplay left me with a strong urge to punch something every time it happened. I would say that this frequency also undercuts the impact of the scare itself but, then again, they were never actually scary in the first place. Just annoying and ugly.
The weird thing about Horror Hospital is that clearly a certain amount of effort went into building the design and structure of the game itself. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a minuscule amount of effort, but it’s there. Yet any of that talent is totally undercut by the seizure-inducing attempts to scare the player through cheap tricks and a nauseating visual “style” if you can even call it that. It’s not a completely shameless asset-flip, but it might as well be.
Even if you enjoy headaches, nausea and a general sense of discomfort as you play video games, I wouldn’t be mean enough to ever recommend Horror Hospital as a thing worth even looking up, let alone playing.