Nukklerma: Robot Warfare Early Access Review

by | Jan 6, 2017

The Earliest Access

If you needed any more proof that the term “early access” is being interpreted way too literally on Steam, look no further than Nukklerma: Robot Warfare.

As a barely existing hodgepodge of empty maps and sub-standard first-person shooting mechanics, Nukklerma: Robot Warfare has almost nothing to offer you in terms of content or quality. The Steam description boldly promises a list of ambitious features, but there’s barely even a “video game” in its most basic sense here.

Nukklerma: Robot Warfare
Steam Page
Developer:
KerboGames
Publisher:
KerboGames
Release:
January 5, 2017
Price:
$3.99
Rig:
Intel i3-3110M @ 2.40GHZ
4GB RAM

 

 

After a poorly delivered opening made up of an awkwardly written dialogue exchange between two characters hastily spouting poorly worded mouthfuls of exposition to one another, Nukklerma: Robot Warfare kicks off with a mildly interesting gameplay introduction, before giving you free reign in an environment devoid of any objectives, enemies or fun.

I recognize that Early Access is precisely designed for games that are still in development, but if you’re going to charge four dollars for a game, at least have something available for the intrepid players who buy in at this stage. There’s about 20 minutes’ worth of “content” currently available in Nukklerma: Robot Warfare and almost none of it is entertaining or even really playable in the slightest.

To its credit, the game runs fairly well, which is pretty rare for a Steam title of this calibre; for the short time I was playing, there were almost no sludgy frame-rate issues, absurd bugs or complete technical meltdowns. That may seem like the standard expectations of a game for most of us, but for a title floating through the open floodgates of the Steam Early Access programme, such luxuries are something of a commodity. That said, the on-screen text is riddled with grammatical errors, while the loading screens are absurdly lengthy, especially considering that the visuals themselves appear inconsistent, bland and technically dated.

Who knows what kind of game Nukklerma: Robot Warfare might be one year down the line from now? I mean, I seriously don’t know, because the measly offerings on show here told me almost nothing about what the developer wants to accomplish with this product, if anything. How do you even pronounce Nukklerma anyway? What is a Nukklerma? On second thought, I don’t care.

“there’s barely even a “video game” in its most basic sense here”

Worth Your Money: Probably Never

[A copy of the game was purchased by the reviewer for the purpose of this review.]

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