PAKO – Car Chase Simulator Steam Pile Review
Mobile port junker crashing
Another day, another overpriced mobile port on Steam, hurray?
PAKO – Car Chase Simulator is available for free (ad-supported) or $1.99 on mobile. This PC port has added four-player split screen multiplayer, and not much else from what I can tell.
The premise of the game is simple, you’re running away from the cops and attempting to see how long you can survive without crashing. In my experience, that time is under two minutes due to cop cars zipping from off the screen directly into you or the floaty controls tail whipping your car into a tree.
Repetitive experiences like this where your entire play session may only last a couple minutes are perfect for mobile, as they give you something to do while pooping or ignoring your whoever dares talk to you; this doesn’t usually translate well to PCs, as is the case here.
Calling this a “car chase simulator” is a bit misleading considering every level is just one small square filled with obstacles and infinitely spawning cops. Your car accelerates on its own although you have the ability to boost or hit the brakes, you can’t come to a complete stop. Movement is similar to old-school racers like Off-road and R.C. Pro-AM, where pressing left and right turn your vehicle from side to side which is awkward to control from the perspective of a helicopter cameraperson.
Boxes spawn around the maps that grant random status effects or weapons, but most of these are useless. The status effects will often cause you to crash (such as freezing, confusion, and driving backwards) and the weapons are so hard to aim they might as well not exist.
While the game is fully functional, I’m not sure why anyone would want to spend time playing this, let alone money. The whole thing can be finished in under 30 minutes, and the multiplayer, while slightly more fun than playing solo, doesn’t do much to cover up the fact that this is just another mobile port trying to scrape in a few more bucks with not much effort.