Football Blitz Review

by | Jan 6, 2017

Soulless Soccer

Football Blitz is, by the developer’s own words “is an action packed, vibrant soccer game”. What this boils down to is silly characters, like a man in a banana suit and an afro-clad disco man playing 2v2 Soccer. It also features a “crazy” mode that features hazards such as lightning strikes and land-mines that stun players.

From that pitch, there is nothing inherently wrong there, perhaps it only being 2v2, 3v3 would have some passing game too which isn’t there in 2v2, but the core concept is fairly solid.

Football Blitz
Steam Page
January 4, 2017
i7-4790k @4.4GHz
Nvidia GTX 980



My initial thought upon seeing Football Blitz was “Oh god, a mobile port”. And yes, indeed it is. However, it doesn’t appear to be a major detriment this time round. Yes, the controls are overly simplified, and the UI is gigantic and unnecessary, but the game actually has options. Granted, simplistic options but options nonetheless. It actually auto-detected my monitors 2560x1440 resolution, which almost no other game seems to be able to do (id games seem to launch on my secondary monitor at 640x480 for some unknown reason).

There’s nothing overly offensive about Football Blitz, nothing is broken, it’s not jam packed with micro-transactions nor is it trying to be the dankest meme. It’s just totally uninspired. As if it had been shat out by a machine attempting to meet the bare definition of a video game.

A rather glaring omission, however, is the complete lack of online multiplayer. It feels very dumb on what seems to be a multiplayer based game to only have local multiplayer, doubly so on Steam where local multiplayer is a complete faff to set up.

It’s not all terrible, though. I find the art style really cute and appealing, with big bright colours and nice (if low poly) models. The animations aren’t bad either, the characters move in a dumpy kids TV show way that I found quite endearing.

“There’s nothing overly offensive about Football Blitz”

The game’s biggest problem, outside of its lack of online, is its severe lack of content. All the variations, like different characters, types of ball and map is purely cosmetic, with it having no effect on how the game actually plays. The challenge mode only consists of 20 challenges, with it actually being 5 challenges repeated with harder difficulty.

In conclusion, Football Blitz is a bland, content lacking husk of a game that could have been fairly decent. With online play and some more of the silly content this could have been somewhat entertaining for cheap, but in its current state, I couldn’t recommend this to anyone.

Score: 30/100

[A copy of the game was provided by the developer or publisher for the purpose of this review.]

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