HEPH Steam Pile Review

by | Jan 29, 2017


HEPH is named after Hephaestus, the deity from Greek mythology who made weapons for the Olympian gods. It is unclear why his name was shortened and uppercased as if one is exclaiming to a buddy “yo HEPH, how’s that spear coming?”, or what the god of blacksmiths has to do with this game. Perhaps it is inspired by the myth where “Heph” made the ill-conceived self-stabbing sword and immediately tossed it in a pile of horse manure.

HEPH is a third-person survival shooter, and it lives up to the level of quality that we have sadly come to expect from such games on Steam. One minute into the game, I was attempting to move a weapon from my inventory to a quick slot, only to have its icon continue to hover around through most of my playthrough, as if I was haunted by the ghost of bad programming past. More traditional glitches, like phasing through environmental objects and even locked doors, soon followed. 

Steam Page
Creature of the Rise co.
Creature of the Rise co.
January 24, 2017
Intel i5-4440 @ 3.10GHz
Zotac GeForce GTX 980 Ti AMP! Extreme

HEPH also claims to be a horror game, which is true to the extent that there are some monsters in it that you can shoot, if you can make them out in the blinding darkness that engulfs everything. Shooting is awkward, with your character aiming about 45 degrees higher than where you point your mouse, and is completely devoid of impact, due to sound effects being either extremely muted or missing altogether. And in case you’re wondering — because at this point I was — no, this is not an Early Access game, so HEPH is a fully-formed, finished product – one with an asking price of 14.99$, no less.

So given the reasonable assumption that a glitchy, messy crafting game taking place in a mostly-vacant ship in pitch-black is not your thing, I’d suggest giving HEPH a pass. I myself have left the days of awkwardly fumbling about in the dark hoping to bring about some excitement back in high school, and that at least was free, though no less humiliating. For now, I see no better way to end this review than to leave you with these inspirational words:

[A copy of the game was provided by the developer or publisher for the purpose of this review.]

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