Pain Train Steam Pile Review

by | Jan 17, 2017

Setting a $1 on fire is more entertaining


Did you know I used to work on the railroad? I did. It was awful. One time I took a train to Chicago, slept for eight hours and then had to go back and get on another train to take it home. After sitting on the non-moving engine for six hours we were finally on our way. 12 hours later we were riding in a cab back to the main building at our home office, because the railroad didn’t want to pay us overtime (as anything over 18 hours is overtime for that particular trip).

Now that, that was a pain train. This, however, is a waste of a dollar. It is a generic first person shooter, where you’re in a subway station overran with zombies. Every so often you randomly get a new gun to end their worthless lives with, and boss monsters appear. It is just so dull and uninspired. Plus, you don’t even get to get on the damned train! False advertisement I tell you. That was sarcasm by the way. But the train causes no pain, nor do you even interact with it, at least in the few minutes I could stomach the game.

One thing you may like is that the game has nearly 600 achievements, 71 of which I got in under 10 minutes. I guess people care about those for some reason, but maybe have some dignity¬†getting them in something that doesn’t have to bait you into buying it for them.

Pain Train
Steam Page
Virtual Top
Virtual Top
Release: January 12, 2017
Intel i7-3930K @ 3.20GHz

[A copy of the game was provided by the developer or publisher for the purpose of this review.]

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